Understanding How We Handle Feelings

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I currently am reading “Letting Go: the Pathway to Surrender,” by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., who is a practicing psychiatrist, spiritual teacher, author, and speaker on the subject of advanced spiritual states and consciousness research.  I am writing to share relevant sections of his book in this post to help you identified issues on your spiritual journey and emotional healing.

We handle our emotions or feelings in three major ways, suppression/repression, expression, and escape.  Suppression and repression are the most common ways our minds push feelings down.  Suppression is done consciously, while repression is done unconsciously.   How do we know we are suppressing feelings?  “The pressure of suppressed feelings is later felt as irritability, mood swings, tensions in the muscles of the neck and back, headaches, cramps, menstrual disorders, colitis, indigestion, insomnia, hypertension, allergies, and other somatic conditions.”  How do we know we are repressing feelings?  First, repression is caused by fear and guilt when our minds instantly will thrust feelings into the unconscious as soon as it tries to emerge.  What we experience are denial and projection in our lives. These repressed feelings are so threatening that we will project them onto the world and those around us.  We experience these feelings as if they belong to others.  “‘They’  become the enemy, and the mind searches for and finds justification to reinforce the projection.  Blame is placed on people, places, institutions, food, climatic conditions, astrological events, social conditions, fate, God, luck, the devil, foreigners, ethnic groups, political rivals, and other things outside of us.”

Expression is when our feelings are vented, verbalized, or stated in body language, and acted out in endless group demonstrations.  Many believe that expressing our feelings free us of our feelings, but the fact is to the contrary.  “The expression of a feeling, first, tends to propagate that feeling and give it greater energy.  Second, the expression of the feeling merely allows the remainder to be suppressed out of awareness.”  “If we dump our negative feelings on others, they experience it as an attack and they, in turn, are forced to suppress, express, or escape the feelings; therefore, the expression of negativity results in deterioration and destruction of relationships.  A far better alternative is to take responsibility for our own feelings and neutralize them.  Then, only positive feelings remain to be expressed.”

“Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion.”  This is the socially condoned mechanism, when we use alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, food, work, TV, texting, social media, shopping, etc, and other frantic activities to keep our minds busy to avoid our feelings.  As our dependency upon these activities grow, they become addictions that control and ultimately destroy ourselves and our lives.

“Each of [the above mechanisms] requires increasing amounts of energy in and of itself.  Enormous amounts of energy are required to keep down the growing pressure of the suppressed and repressed feelings.”  This can result in physical illness, mental conditions, and stress that is the physical result of keeping these feelings suppressed and how we emotionally respond to external stimuli triggering these feelings.  If you can identify any of these above symptoms, as I have, then it is time to do the hard emotional work of letting go of the negative feelings built up in your emotional landscape and energy fields through “Emotional Release Practice” found at this tab on my Blogsite Homepage.

Excerpts from “Letting Go: the Pathway to Surrender,” by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.

Photo source: No source identified

Uncovering Sex Addiction

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Last night, I saw a movie on sex addiction called “Thanks for Sharing.”  To find out if you or someone you love suffer from sex addiction, please see this LINK.  Through this movie, I realized that sex addiction is similar to alcohol or drug addiction, as it is used to mask emotional pain.  Addicts resort to their chosen addictions when they have difficulties in their lives as they have unresolved emotional problems that they have no healthy ways of coping.  Addictions are the result of our refusal to confront our emotional issues and problems and to do the hard work to overcome them.

Through this movie, I saw that sex addicts spend a lot time on their televisions or computers as sex addicts frequent porn channels, cybersex sites, and sex chat rooms to masturbate to satisfy their addictions.  Serious sex addicts have multiple sexual partners, use prostitutes, and even resort to sexual assault and harassment to satisfy their addictions. Sex addicts do not emotionally bond with their sexual partners, so cybersex and porn satisfy their sexual compulsions without any strings attached.  The need for multiple sexual partners also is uncontrollable for sex addicts as they do not  use discretion in choosing their sexual partners or practice safe sex resulting in contracting STD’s.

What’s the problem with enjoying a little sex you say? It’s a serious problem when it takes over your life, when your marriage ends in divorce, you spend thousands of dollars on porn and cybersex, contract STD’s and spread it to your loved ones, your children refuse contacts with you, you lose your job, you have no true intimacy in your relationships, and you may even get arrested for sexual assault and sexual battery (non-consensual touching) of others.   This is no longer enjoying a little sex, but true crisis in your life when your life is controlled by your sex addiction.

You can take a screening test to determine if you or someone you know suffer from sex addiction at this LINK.  To find a support group for sex addiction in your area, please see this LINK.  There is so much shame and guilt related to this illness, but there is help and support available.  Please get help for yourself as your loved ones pray for your recovery.  (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Kundalini Uncovered

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Kundalini energy is a dormant sexual energy resting in the sacrum area of our spine. Kundalini energy resides dormant in everyone, and can rise in anyone as well.  What happens when Kundalini energy rises when you are young without knowledge or defenses to cope with it?  The rise of Kundalini energy may appear as a psychotic break, mental illness, or physical illness as described by many Kundalini active individuals.

When Kundalini energy rises when we are young, this can be very traumatic and difficult situation as Kundalini energy is sexual energy. When this sexual energy rises, it may attract those who feel attracted to sexual energy such as sexual predators and offenders.  Those who are Kundalini active suffer from abuse and trauma just like everyone else, and the result from the trauma is then intensified as Kundalini energy intensified our emotional problems and mental conditions.

It is not unlikely that those who are Kundalini active from a young age may struggle with life issues as they are unable to handle this intense rising sexual energy when they have little to no guidance about this condition. After struggling myself with my own Kundalini rising, I feel compassion for younger individuals facing Kundalini rising when their parents have no idea what is happening to their child.

As an adult, I have the life skills to find out what is happening to me, and the resources to find those in the medical and spiritual community with understanding about Kundalini energy.  As children, we depend on our parents to find a way to help with coping and stabilizing this Kundalini energy.  Many parents have put their children into mental hospitals believing their children are experiencing a psychotic breakdown or severe mental illness.

Here are some links to resources to help with surviving Kundalini crisis:

Kundalini Symptoms

Phases of Kundalini

Managing Kundalini Symptoms

Proper Kundalini Diet  

Kundalini Resources and Books

Blessings on your Kundalini journey, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Photo source: Chakra Art

The Road to Recovery

tumblr_n5hdnoVwsH1typun2o1_500 For the past three years, I have been going through my emotional healing process and Kundalini awakening.  I currently am in stage 2 of the Kundalini Recovery Process.  Please see this link for Kundalini Recovery Process – The Stages for details. “Stage 0 is active illness where there may be acute symptoms of Post Traumatic Distress Disorder (“PTSD”) that is current day events triggering and reminding us of our past trauma, depression, anxiety, or other mental conditions.  In stage 0, there is no active recovery occurring.  In stage 1, recovery begins of the stage 0 conditions. After stage 1 is complete usually after at least a year of recovery work, there may be emotional release and movement of energy. Once stage 0 conditions are resolved and stabilized, then stage 2 recovery may begin.”

“Stage 2 recovery involves the healing the effects of past traumas, sometimes called adult child or codependence issues.  Adult child is a term that has been used to refer to anyone who grew up in an unhealthy, troubled, or dysfunctional family. Many adult children may still be in a similarly unhealthy environment, whether at home, in one or more relationships or at work. Because a Kundlaini arousal often brings up our unconscious material, working a stage 2 recovery will likely help us heal, and authentic humility assists us with this and in our spiritual growth.  Humility is facilitated by having the courage to make the choice movement by movement, to let go of ego-centered thinking and behaving.”

As I reflect back at my progress, I recently went back to see my past codepencencies and ego-centered thinking and behaviors.  I realize how very far I have come since being diagnosed with PTSD from my childhood abuse and trauma. My life was filled with current day events triggering and reminding me of my past trauma, and I struggled with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. I was filled with self loathing, fears, and anger.  My life was a series of coping with my dysfunctions.  When I went back to see others who are still at this stage, I remember how painful it was, but it is no longer my life now.  It took me about a year to get through stage 1 when I stabilize my Kundalini energy through emotional release work resulting in movement in my energy system when I began to clear the energy blockages in my chakras.

At stage 2, we know we have healed these past emotional wounds when current day events no longer trigger our past trauma that cause fears, self loathing, or anger, including non- reaction to the catalysts brought into our lives.  These catalysts simply become another benign person walking on the street with no impact and cause no fear or discomfort within us.  I already have worked through many issues involving my father, and now working through issues involving my mother.  I finally feel freedom from my past as my life is lighter, brighter, and more peaceful now.  Since March 2011, I relentlessly worked on my emotional healing every day, as I believe I will heal myself completely.  I look forward to getting to stage 3 of my recovery.

“Stage 3 recovery is the state into which we may be compelled prematurely by having a spiritual awakening.  It includes the experience of spirituality and its incorporation into our daily life.  It is an ongoing process.  In this stage we make meaning of our past. We are now more aware of being free of old beliefs and can work through conflicts faster as we create more stability in ours lives. Trying to avoid this work of stages 1 and 2 recovery can also be called premature transcendence or high level denial.”  This also is known as Spiritual Bypass.  What happens is that our false self will usually pull us back until we work through our particular unfinished business in stages 1 and 2, since these stages of recovery are unavoidable. So, don’t give up and keep going down the road to recovery. Blessings of healing love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Excerpt from Charles L. Whitfield, MD on the “Perspective from a Map of the Psyche and the Kundalini Recovery Process.”

Photo source: spiritualawakeningnet

Awareness of Fear and Brain Functions

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I have come to realize that humans operate and function predominately through fear.  Through fear, genocide and holocausts occur as these events are triggered by blaming smaller groups of people for our economic and society’s problems.  Blaming others is a fear based behavior as we cannot take responsibility for our own problems, and we fear that others are causing us harm.  For humans, fear appears to be such a motivator as we work hard in school for fear that we will not get a decent paying job.  Even religion uses fear to motivate their parishioners as hell is where we will go if we don’t follow the teachings of the church or their scriptures.

On a micro or personal level, I have experienced fear in every aspect of my life. I have observed how fear works within me.  When I experience fear, I begin to want to take control, and this causes left brain behaviors of making lists, repeating patterns, doing thing in a certain sequence, or focusing on details.  Many people with phobias, that is an extreme form of fear, will behave obsessively and compulsively created predominately through the left brain.

I remember this fear-based behavior while playing the piano as I began playing when I was eight years old.  During piano performances that require muscle memory and emotional expression that is predominately a right brain activity, we must be willing to surrender and let go in order to perform through muscle memory and musical expression.  When I performed, I heard this very strong voice of the ego telling me that I need to take control because I will forget the music or make a mistake. I feared this because I didn’t feel good enough, and feared being judged by others as being unworthy. Then my left brain kicked in, and I played mechanically like I was typing on a typewriter rather than playing music as I was no longer operating through my right brain.

This experience gave me the understanding that ego can shift our brain activities.  When ego’s fears kick in, we feel the urge to control and control for many of us takes the form of  left brain activities, including making lists, repeating patterns, doing thing in a certain sequence, or focusing on details.  As I have become more aware, I am doing exercises to prevent myself from going into this control mode of my left brain. I practice this by doing deep breathing exercises that relaxes my body, triggers muscle memory, and stimulates right brain activities.  I will be starting my breath work soon, hopefully, to help me with this. Infinite love and light, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with all Rights Reserved)

Photo source: John M. Eger



 

On Our Path to Healing

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During a recent conversation with a former colleague and friend, we talked about the life lessons we learned while both working for the same employer and why we were brought there.  I explained to her that throughout my life, I appear to attract similar supervisors and employment environments. These environments reminded me of my childhood home, frequently emotionally chaotic and unstable.  As an adult, I ran from one employer to another, but I appear to attract the same situations and people no matter where or how far I ran.

I explained to my friend that I began to realize this recently about my life, and my lesson this time around is to learn how to deal with these chaotic and unstable emotional situations.  I believe that I ran from these circumstances because they remind me of my childhood home life that frightens me. However, as an adult, I have the means to protect myself, and make different choices.   As I was unable to cope with this as  a child and as an adult, I used the same coping mechanism of avoidance and escape as I essentially did as a child although I used dissociation, a psychological term that means mentally leaving my body so I could avoid feeling pain and trauma.

Now, as an adult, I realize that my life has been so limited.  I am essentially living a life of a phobic person.  People with phobias avoid their phobias or fears.  For example, if one is phobic to confined space, they would avoid working or living in a building with an elevator.  They would avoid all activities requiring confined or enclosed spaces, etc.  Those with phobias who have not overcome their phobias live a very limiting life full of avoidance and fear in dealing with their reality.

I realize that for my life now, I need to overcome my own phobias that is to learn to deal with people who remind me of my parents.  In order to do this, I must overcome my fears by healing my emotional trauma so that I no longer react to these people.  I earlier posted an article on “How to Achieve Non-Reaction.”  I believe this can be accomplished through Emotional Release Practice, and Ego Observing Practice, both can be found on these tabs on my Blogsite Homepage.

This realization has given me motivation to stay on course to overcome my past and to heal my emotional trauma, so I no longer need to use avoidance and escape as ways of coping with my life now. May you find your path to healing, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Photo Source: No source identified

 

 

 

Incongruity in Spirituality

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I have always been fascinated by the idea of incongruity between who we represent to others and who we really are inside, as I have observed so many people including those in the spiritual community who appear to represent themselves in one way then in actuality they are someone else all together.  This incongruity appears to be a human condition.  Yesterday, I was speaking with my graduate assistant who is studying Counseling Education to become a therapist/counselor, and we began talking about how even her professors appear incongruent between how they represent themselves and who they really are.  One of her professors practices meditation, mindfulness, and spirituality, but his behavior and reactions are based in ego and his smaller self.

This concept of incongruity was first introduced by Carl Rogers, an influential American psychologist and among the founders of the humanistic approach (or client-centered approach) to psychology. Rogers is widely considered to be one of the founding fathers of psychotherapy research.  “Rogers identified the “real self” as the aspect of one’s being that is founded in the actualizing tendency, follows organismic valuing, needs and receives positive regard and self-regard. It is the “you” that, if all goes well, you will become. On the other hand, to the extent that our society is out of sync with the actualizing tendency, and we are forced to live with conditions of worth that are out of step with organismic valuing, and receive only conditional positive regard and self-regard, we develop instead an “ideal self”. By ideal, Rogers is suggesting something not real, something that is always out of our reach, the standard we cannot meet. This gap between the real self and the ideal self, the “I am” and the “I should” is called incongruity.”

“Rogers described the concepts of congruence and incongruence as important ideas in his theory. In proposition #6, he refers to the actualizing tendency. At the same time, he recognized the need for positive regard. In a fully congruent person realizing their potential is not at the expense of experiencing positive regard. They are able to lead lives that are authentic and genuine. Incongruent individuals, in their pursuit of positive regard, lead lives that include falseness and do not realize their potential. Conditions put on them by those around them make it necessary for them to forego their genuine, authentic lives to meet with the approval of others. They live lives that are not true to themselves, to who they are on the inside out.”

“Rogers suggested that the incongruent individual, who is always on the defensive and cannot be open to all experiences, is not functioning ideally and may even be malfunctioning. They work hard at maintaining/protecting their self-concept. Because their lives are not authentic this is a difficult task and they are under constant threat. They deploy defense mechanisms to achieve this. He describes two mechanisms: distortion and denial. Distortion occurs when the individual perceives a threat to their self-concept. They distort the perception until it fits their self-concept.This defensive behavior reduces the consciousness of the threat but not the threat itself. And so, as the threats mount, the work of protecting the self-concept becomes more difficult and the individual becomes more defensive and rigid in their self structure.”

“If the incongruence is immoderate this process may lead the individual to a state that would typically be described as neurotic. Their functioning becomes precarious and psychologically vulnerable. If the situation worsens it is possible that the defenses cease to function altogether and the individual becomes aware of the incongruence of their situation. Their personality becomes disorganised and bizarre; irrational behavior, associated with earlier denied aspects of self, may erupt uncontrollably.”

As Roger’s theory indicates as long as we continue our distortions and denials, we will remain in this incongruity between our real self and ideal self unable to live an authentic life.  The first step is awareness of this incongruity, before we can begin to bring congruence between our real self and ideal self in order to live a more authentic spiritual life.  Blessings of light, Brooke (Excerpts from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Rogers, please see this link for the full biography and works of Carl Rogers)

Awareness of Traps in Psychological Counseling

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In the course of my emotional healing and counseling work, I have had the opportunity to learn some common psychological phenomenons. These are the concepts of resistance, transference, and counter-transference.  These issues are normally spotted and identified by the therapist or counselor who establishes clear and healthy boundaries with the client so that it does not become a problem.  These issues become a serious problem if neglected or acted upon by the practitioner and the client.

Resistance is based on personal automatic ways of reacting in which clients both reveal and keep hidden aspects of themselves from the therapist or another person. These behaviors occur mostly during therapy, in interaction with the therapist. It is a way of avoiding and yet expressing unacceptable drives, feelings,fantasies, and behavior patterns. Examples of causes of resistance include: resistance to the recognition of feelings, fantasies, and motives; resistance as a way of demonstrating self-sufficiency; or resistance as clients’ reluctance to change their behavior outside the therapy room. The failure to recognize resistance will keep the client or ourselves stuck and unable to move forward in our emotional healing process.

In a therapy context, transference refers to redirection of a patient’s feelings for a significant person to the therapist. One definition of transference is “the inappropriate repetition in the present of a relationship that was important in a person’s childhood.” Another definition is “the redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object.” Still another definition is “a reproduction of emotions relating to repressed experiences, especially of childhood, and the substitution of another person … for the original object of the repressed impulses.”

Transference is often manifested a sexual attraction towards a therapist, but can be seen in many other forms such as rage, hatred, mistrust, parentification, extreme dependence, or even placing the therapist in a god-like or guru status. Counter-transference is defined as redirection of a therapist’s or counselor’s feelings toward a client—or, more generally, as a therapist’s emotional entanglement with a client.

These dynamics between the therapist and the client are detrimental to the recovery and progress and can cause harm to the mental state of the client or ourselves. In psychological practice, it is strictly prohibited for the therapist or counselor to become emotionally or romantically involved with their clients.  This prohibited behavior can cause the practitioner to lose his/her medical license before a psychological licensing board, and continuing a relationship after discontinuing treatment also is considered unethical and strongly discouraged.

Awareness of these common psychological phenomenons can help with our own recovery and progress during our emotional healing process through psychological counseling. Sending healing light, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Right Reserved)

 

 

Unstable Kundalini Energy

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Is it wise to become romantically involved with those whose Kundalini energy have not stabilized? When our Kundalini energy first rises, it is like lava shooting out of a volcano.  It is highly unstable and volatile as there is nothing subtle about this experience.  Our physical bodies go into crisis with many unexplained debilitating aches, illness, and chronic pains.  Our emotional state becomes unstable many times manifesting mental illness symptoms, including psychosis, auditory and visual hallucinations, and severe moods swings.

 Kundalini energy heightens physical and emotional conditions that already exists within us.  So if you have mild mental illness, you will have the extreme form of that illness when Kundalini energy rises, and if you already have physical ailments, those ailments may become debilitating. Many become disabled and even hospitalized as we may be unable to work, attend school, or even have a stable family life.

 Take all these problems and add another with similar problems who you are romantically involved.  My advise is to get professional or self help for your emotional and physical symptoms with someone who is familiar with Kundalini energy, and do not get involved romantically particularly with another whose Kundalini energy also is unstable.  Even becoming emotionally close with another who is Kundalin active when we are Kundalini active can create this sexual dynamic and emotional imprint that will keep us trapped in this dynamic.  It may take you years to separate from the other, even if we try to leave.

 If you are interested in stabilizing your Kundalini energy, please see this tab on my Blogsite Homepage.  Blessings of healing light, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)