What is Triangulation?

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The situation involving triangulation is one that most people have experienced, but this is particularly true for those of us who have suffered childhood abuse or trauma.  “In family therapy, the term triangulation is most closely associated with the work of Murray Bowen. Bowen theorized that a two-person emotional system is unstable in that it forms itself into a three-person system or triangle under stress. In the family triangulation system the third person can either be used as a substitute for the direct communication, or can be used as a messenger to carry the communication to the main party. Usually this communication is an expressed dissatisfaction with the main party.”

“For example, in a dysfunctional family in which there is alcoholism present, the non-drinking parent will go to a child and express dissatisfaction with the drinking parent. This includes the child in the discussion of how to solve the problem of the afflicted parent. Sometimes the child can engage in the relationship with the parent, filling the role of the third party, and thereby being “triangulated” into the relationship, or, the child may then go to the alcoholic parent, relaying what they were told. In instances when this occurs, the child may be forced into a role of a “surrogate spouse.” The reason that this occurs is that both parties are dysfunctional. Rather than communicating directly with each other, they utilize a third party. Sometimes, this is because it is unsafe to go directly to the person and discuss the concerns, particularly if they are alcoholic and/or abusive.”

In these situations, most children are coerced or forced into these triangulated relationships. Many times, the child may be used as a scapegoat or blamed for the problems between the two main parties, as they cannot resolve their underlying problems, thereby simply denying the existence of any problems. This is considered emotional abuse.  If the child is sexualized in this triangulation, this is called sexual abuse.  If the child is physically harmed in this triangulation, then this is called physical abuse.

This triangulation dynamic exists with most childhood abuse situations.  When children are habituated to this dynamic, we become comfortable and even drawn to this type of dynamic as adults.  As adults, we begin to seek this triangulation dynamic that feels familiar.  When we begin to recognize this triangulation as dysfunctional and destructive, and begin to heal our past emotional wounds, we are able to break this behavioral pattern.

The major difference once we have healed our past emotional wounds is that the triangulation will no longer feel attractive or seductive, but repulsive and uncomfortable in our adults lives.  When we have reached this point, we are able to turn our life around to engage in healthier relationships and interact in healthier behaviors.  Infinite healing love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Excerpts cited from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangulation_(psychology)

Photo source: www.markgibsonphoto.com

Listening to the Higher Self

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As I progress in my Kundalini awakening, the voice of my higher self is very clear and loud, as I had not earlier heard this voice as clearly or loudly.  This voice tells me very clearly how to move forward on my path.  My higher self is very clear about how to stay on course by following my own beliefs. She is clear about what behaviors I should tolerate, and what behaviors deviate from my beliefs.

In the past, I had difficulties hearing my higher self, and I believe the reason is because I did not want to hear what my intuition was telling me.  My ego had its own desires, wishes, and outcomes, and did not want to hear that it is not getting what it wants.

Before hearing our higher selves, we must clear our minds of chatter, what many call monkey chatter. This chatter can block our ability to hear our true voices or higher selves.  This is why many can hear their higher selves during meditation, as the monkey chatter is reduced allowing the voice of the higher self to emerge.

I have used an exercise on accessing the higher self.  Please see “Accessing the Higher Self” tab on my Blogsite Homepage for this practice.  After practicing this exercise for a while, you will be able to access your higher self instantly without going through each step.  May you be guided by your higher self, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

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Breaking Patterns

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I want to share my experiences about destructive patterns of behaviors as I have been forced to see and acknowledge these destructive patterns in my life.  There are big patterns such as repeating the same behavioral patterns we experienced in our childhoods now in our adults lives.  Then, there are repeating behavioral patterns with the same person, such as an abusive or unhealthy relationship.  I have had problems with both.

What I have observed is that our egos do not allow us to see these behavioral patterns easily within our own lives. However,we are able to see these patterns very clearly with others, and in fact, we are happy to point these out to others. This ability to see inward is not an easy one, and most of us, including myself, have struggled to see these behavioral patterns that appear obvious to others.

The technique I use to be able to see past my ego into my own reality is called looking into the mirror.  This is how it works.  I will choose someone in my life who mirrors some aspect of my life, such as someone who lived through childhood abuse or experienced trauma.  I will observe their life patterns or relationship abuse patterns, and frequently, something will ring true about their situation to me.

Once this happens, I realize that I am likely experiencing the same patterns as this individual.  Some of the patterns are uncannily similar sometimes down to the number of months that these patterns will repeat.  One such pattern that I have observed about myself involved a pattern of three or four months.  During these months, I will suffer a rejection or failure, and will revert back to a destructive behavioral pattern of returning to a prior unhealthy relationship or begin another similarly unhealthy relationship.  

The key to breaking our behavioral patterns is awareness not to repeat these patterns again. As I am trying very hard to heal my emotional wounds, I will likely revert back to these destructive patterns until I have healed completely.  Another way to determine if we are repeating the same behavioral patterns is to ask ourselves if we have been here before.  Have I experienced these feelings before? Have I experienced this hurt before?  Does this remind me of a similar past experience?  

Awareness will allow us to see the road we are walking down again, and prevent us from becoming stuck on our journeys.  Keeping a diary or journal is another great way of tracking patterns of negative behavior.  As this blog is a diary of my spiritual journey, I have reviewed my past posts and recognized that I have repeated the same behavioral patterns quite a few times before.  May you find your unhealthy patterns and break them.  Blessings of love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)     

Find What Works for Your Awakening

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In reading many different Kundalini awakening experiences, everyone has a different experience.  As we have different emotional experiences and different emotional landscapes reflecting different energy bodies, thus our Kundalini energy will react differently within our energy bodies.  Therefore, everyone’s Kundalini experience is personal just as our fingerprints are different and individualized.

Because this spiritual area is still growing and developing, we will find many different opinions and theories on Kundalini awakening.  I generally accept many different theories sometimes on the same issue, and I do not believe my opinion or theory is the correct one. Similarly, the earth was determined to be flat by the scientific community until the last few hundred years. When we release ego, we are able to accept other perspectives and ideas, and grow with this unknown spiritual area.

My Kundalini Awakening blog is intended only to share my experiences and share what works for me. What works for me may not work for you, so seek your own methods and find your own solutions that work best for you.  Spiritual awakening is a journey to find spiritual and emotional wholeness in order to live a more peaceful, joyful, and harmonious soul life, so there is no right way or wrong way, just your own way.  Blessings on your spiritual journeys, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

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What the Soul Knows

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I have been contemplating about the soul lately as I have had past life memories after the rise of the Kundalini energy.  My first past life memory occurred soon after the rise of my Kundalini energy, and the second one occur after an attunement session during Reiki practice class.

In my first past life memory, I was a White American woman from a wealthy family who gave up my daughter for adoption because I was unwed, and in the second past life memory, I was a Native American/American Indian child who lost my mother to illness.  After having these memories, I began to piece together my soul’s emotional landscape.

I believe our emotional landscapes are a compilation of emotional experiences from our past lives including trauma and losses. I believe that I recalled these past events because they were major emotional events of my past lifetimes. These experiences also cause us to become the person we are in subsequent lifetimes as our souls continue although we may inhabit a different physical body.

During my past life memories, I also recognized a person in those memories of someone I currently know today.  The most interesting part of this is that this person exhibited the same behaviors, similar mind set, and beliefs as he currently has in this lifetime.  I am meeting the same soul just with a different physical appearance.  I believe the purpose of these past life memories is to help us navigate our soul lives after awakening.

So knowing this, I also know that if I don’t heal my emotional landscape of my emotional wounds from my past and current lifetimes, I will continue to repeat and attract similar experiences in subsequent lifetimes with the same heartbreaks, disappointments, and problems.  In this lifetime, I am working very hard to change my emotional landscape in order to have different outcomes, a more joyous soul life, and attract healthier people into my soul life. Sending peace and love, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

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Experiencing Forgiveness

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I want to share a new experience about forgiveness that I have never felt before, and it is this.  Recently, I have been able to let people go from my past, but still feel love for them.  This has always been difficult for me as I always have associated love with being connect with others physically.

I have realized recently that it is not necessary physically be with others and still love them. This is particularly true of my father who I deeply love, but I cannot be around him as he is still very emotionally troubled.  I do believe though that he is beginning to recognized what he did to me and my family have caused much turmoil and heartbreak for everyone involved. Unfortunately, he must live with these facts, and the subsequent karma resulting from his past actions.

But for me though, I am letting go of the pain and hurt he caused me.  What he thinks of me and says about me no longer matter to me.  His life and existence no longer cause continual pain and suffering for me as that is my choice to allow.

It is truly a strange sensation to love another, but not to be impacted by them. This freedom allows me to still genuinely love others, although I can no longer share my life with them as they have chosen a different path than me.  I no longer begrudge them for their choices, as I accept that they have made different choices than me, and I am okay with it now.  Being okay with others decisions and choices is part of acceptance of others, although we don’t need to agree with their choices.

Forgiveness is not condoning others behaviors, it is letting go of the pain they caused and continual suffering afterwards. Forgiveness allows us to let all this go. May you find forgiveness in your life to move forward on your path, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

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What Lies Beneath

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Buried deep beneath the pain is love.

The layers of dross is the illusion.

I too have been fooled many times,

In believing this illusion is real.

We fight the good fight with others,

But those are our own demons.

When our deceptions dissolve,

Only love remains in its pure form,

Without desire, attachment, or condition.

When those layers fall away,

We find love motivates us.

No longer will ego’s desires,

Blind us to this love,

For then we will give this love away freely. ~ Brooke

(Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

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Through Synchronicity

4268310_origDuring my recent trip to Pittsburgh, I had a synchronized experience.  While in my hot glassblowing class in Pittsburgh, one of my classmates accidentally burnt herself.  I volunteered to take her to the pharmacy to get burn medication and bandages.  As we were leaving the pharmacy, I saw a small ethnic new age store with colorful clothing and handmade products.

I asked my classmate if she wouldn’t mind stopping by to browse in the store.  There, I found an interesting African American woman store owner who excitedly told us about her products and clothing.  As we were in the middle of our glassblowing class, I quickly purchased some colorful leggings that caught my eye, and then explain that we have to return to our class.

After returning home, something told me to contact the store owner again to purchase another pair of colorful leggings.  She put a few pairs of leggings and tunics on the Store’s Facebook page to show me her inventory, so we communicated over several days.

As I purchased another pair of colorful leggings and matching tunic she picked out for me, we had an opportunity to both recognized that the Universe brought us together of like-minded people, and we shared some spiritual and metaphysical experiences during our conversations. She is now my Facebook friend so we can continue to keep in touch.

Since my recent emotional healing, I have been attracting very positive and spiritual people into my life who are genuinely kind, honest, and caring.  As I heal more and more, my life is changing very dramatically, and my prayers of a peaceful and joyful life are finally coming true.  Infinite love and light to you always, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved) Photo source:  www.kahunaresearchgroup.org

Sacred Place

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There is a place within,

That has all I seek. In this place is the secret,

To who I am.

The key is to tap into,

This sacred place,

That is of mystics and magic.

Why has this alluded me for so long?

As if blinders kept me from seeing,

And illusions kept me from knowing,

It is the place I know as home.

As wounds have kept me away,

From this sacred space,

I venture to find my way,

Back to the place of birth,

Of my soul.

Here you will find me,

Listening to my own voice,

Singing songs of joy,

And dancing in swirls of splendor,

Celebrating what I have never known,

And yet know so well,

A place called home. ~ Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)